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When Aliens Come to Tea

Portrait of Roric Slade

Roric Slade

Human

Physical Appearance

  • Build: Lean, economical frame suggesting someone who views excess muscle mass as "inefficient resource allocation"
  • Posture: Impeccable, almost unnaturally straight - "understated omnipresence" manifest
  • Age: Appears mid-40s (standard Earth years), though stress-aging from Callisto Prime may be a factor
  • Hair: Precisely maintained, steel-gray, cut to regulation corporate standards
  • Eyes: Sharp, constantly scanning, with the thousand-yard stare of someone who's seen too many hostile takeover attempts
  • Attire: Minimalist business wear in neutral tones - expensive but deliberately unremarkable, designed to be forgotten
  • Distinguishing Features: Enhanced olfactory sensors (subtle nasal modifications), encrypted transponder signature only STEEP can detect

Voice & Speech Patterns

  • Tone: Measured, gravelly, resonant with quiet authority
  • Cadence: Economical, every word calculated for maximum efficiency
  • Volume: Never raised, maintains same level whether discussing tea or planetary destruction
  • Verbal Tics: Frequent use of corporate jargon applied to everyday situations
  • Accent: Neutral with occasional Callisto Prime inflections (slightly clipped consonants)

Mannerisms & Behavior

  • Movement: Minimal, purposeful gestures - no wasted motion
  • Tea Drinking: Requires verbal disclosure of ingredients, tests biscuit structural integrity
  • Social Interaction: Treats every conversation as potential intelligence gathering
  • Nervous Habits: None visible (trained out), though STEEP detected 0.8% increase in facial tics at "holistic integration"
  • Personal Space: Maintains precise 1.2-meter optimal defensive distance

Background Summary

  • Origin: Callisto Prime orbital habitats (Jupiter system)
  • Education: Jovian Institute (specialized in orbital mechanics)
  • Former Career: Covert Information Broker (specialized in corporate espionage)
  • Career Change: Burned all identities after moral crisis, now Crisis Mitigation Consultant
  • Key Trauma: Discovering his work enabled potential genocide, leading to complete life recalibration

Personality Profile

  • Core Traits: Analytical, paranoid, ethically rigid (post-conversion), professionally distant
  • Worldview: "Trust is a vulnerability" / "Assume optimized malice"
  • Humor: Bone-dry, often unintentional, emerges through over-analysis of simple concepts
  • Values: Data integrity, operational efficiency, systemic trust (newly acquired)
  • Fears: Unquantified optimism, unverified information, emotional decision-making
  • Hidden Depth: Capable of profound moral choices despite utilitarian upbringing

Skills & Abilities

  • Primary: Information analysis, threat assessment, pattern recognition
  • Technical: Multi-layer encryption, counter-surveillance, predictive modeling
  • Social: Strategic conversation, reading micro-expressions, corporate navigation
  • Unique: Can detect "subtext as Class-5 biohazard," biological lie detection capabilities

Relationships

  • With Felix: Cautiously respectful, treats him as benign but unpredictable variable
  • With STEEP: Professional recognition between two data-gathering entities
  • With Authority: Compliant but maintaining multiple exit strategies
  • With Trust: Newly learning to recognize it as "distributed asset" rather than weakness

Character Arc Markers

  • Past: Living in shadows, treating information as only currency
  • Catalyst: Dr. Aris Thorne incident - choosing ethics over profit
  • Present: Learning to exist in daylight, offering legitimate consultation
  • Growth: From "trust no one" to "trust but verify extensively with multi-factor authentication"

Quirks & Memorable Elements

  • Analyzes human cooking shows as "performative inefficiency"
  • Believes graduation caps are "atmospheric dampeners"
  • Describes starting over with single word: "Recalibration"
  • Treats every teacup as potential surveillance device
  • Finds human decorative objects baffling yet psychologically significant

Story

  • What other identities did he burn?
  • Does Dr. Aris Thorne know who saved his research?
  • What happened to his former clients/enemies?
  • How does someone trained for paranoia learn genuine connection?
  • What counts as "recreation" for someone who sees patterns in everything?

Notable Quirks:

  • Hyper-vigilant
  • Over-analytical
  • Biscuit-suspicious

Episode Appearances

Guest: Roric Slade
May 24, 2025

Welcome back to "When Aliens Come To Tea"! This fortnight, Felix Andromeda sits down with the enigmatic Roric Slade, a man whose past is as encrypted as his former client list. Hailing from the high-stakes, paranoia-fueled corporate world of Callisto Prime, Roric was a covert information broker, dealing in secrets that could topple empires.

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